Sunday, April 19, 2009

Becoming the dreamer



I was always a dreamer,always a crafter.always a poet.The poems often came to me as songs or in dreams and remembering them i would scribble them down after i awoke. There is a saying
"The soul would have no rainbow if the eye had no tears"
Its very true and life cannot be good or bad but must be both.
I also read that 10 per cent of what happens to us we have no control over but the other 90 per cent is our reaction to that.Its probably true as how many times do we react badly to something and our day turns to hell. I was almost 7 and dreamed for several years of being Margot fonteyn as i did my saturday ballet classes.I lived breathed and ate ballet.Then just before my very first concert i was diagnosed with Leg calve Perthes disease of my right hip and my ballet dream was over.I spent my 7th birthday in hospital and i spent a few months in hospital; later on.The hip joint just disintergrates and they dont know why.So i was in traction and then i was on crutches and wore callipers.I hated the boots i had to wear and longed for pretty shoes,I went to Nepean crippled childrens school ,(thats right it was called a crippled childrens school and no one complained no one was insulted or thought it politically incorrect .we knew we were crippled)Several children died during my few years there including Dino my first boyfriend.Even then i knew i would get better but they had their afflictions for life !My time there was mainly a happy one,we were treated with love and care.
My parents love of me was never in doubt and whats better my siblings were often jealous cause i was Special lol.My whole point but is that i wonder who i would have become without those days.I used to look longingly at all the other children in our street playing British Bulldog and hop skip and jump,statues and please mR crocodile can i cross your golden river.So instead i had my imagination where i made up my poems or made dollhouses out of cardboard boxes and puppets out of egg cartons. It gave me a playworld and it gave me a creative spirit.Thats why i think that sometimes we forget the good that comes out of the bad we go through.You see for the most part those days were happy filled with doing and making and planning about doing and making.Yes craft has seen me through some tough times.then and now and i am forever grateful. Had i been a child today and had that same experience mayhap id be a computer whizz instead of a mad and whimsical crafter.Who knows ...What i am saying is that each of us is a product of all that has been and all that we dream to be.Me i am a fat middle aged lady with a quick wit a quicker smile and at heart i am a faerie who dares to dream all that never was...Who my friends are you ?

10 comments:

Marilyn said...

I, my Dear, was a little girl that was loved by her Grandmother but she died when I was 12. I was not loved by my parents who my father abandoned at 12 & my mother emotionally abandoned at 12. I am that little girl whose life fell apart at the ripe old age of 12.....
I am now an almost 60 year old woman who has been married to her High School Sweetheart for almost 41 years, has 2 grown children & while sometimes life is hard or cruel it is for the most part good for me!!
Ya' gotta' just keep on movin' & keep interested in life!!
Here's to us survivors!!
Love,
Marilyn
xxoo

vivian said...

hi jules! yes I agree our trials and tribulations certainly help to form us. I'm glad you are who you are! And Artwork and being creative is awesome therapy for recoving from physical as well as emotional problems! Love the picture of you!
hugs!
vivian

Marilyn said...

A beatiful (from the heart) story..well told. Life is not about finding ourselves, but about creating ourselves. All the steps it took for your creation to be as perfect as you are is definately worth it-because you are a beautiful soul.

Laurie said...

That was beautiful Jullie and your are right we did both have nostalgic posts. I'm a fat middle aged dreamer, seamstress, cook, and a long list of other things.
Hugs!
Laurie

A Bite of Country Cupcakes said...

Beautiful thought inspiring post Jules.
You are those things and Many more to your Prceious friends.

What am I?
Hmmm...A giver..
Someone who gives alittle too much of themselves to others often forgetting me along the way.
But above all I am am blessed,optimistic and happy

Peta said...

Lovely post Jules, and what an adorable little girl you were (you are an adorable grown up girl too!) Peta xxx

Sue said...

That was a 'real' post Jules, but a wonderful story...Ive never looked at my life that way, and how I have arrived here today.I guess I should look at my journey, and find out why I have become a junk hoarder!
Gorgeous photo!
Sue

paperbird said...

Great post. We each have our individual journey's that define who we are.

Country Wishes said...

Another lovely post Julles.
Who am I? I am me, mum, wife, friend, daughter, sister, aunty, sewer, crafter, cook, cleaner, and more, and I am happy to be all of them because they are my life.
I consider myself lucky to have the friendship of such a wonderful lady as yourself.

Frippery said...

Beautiful post. What happens to us shapes who we are and although we may wish for some circumstances to be different, maybe if we got our wish it wouldn't really be what we hoped for. We should all embrace who we are and the life journey that brought us here.